dear doris. how do you balance creative careers & other hats with parent life?

issue 1 ♡ removing external distractions & shifting attention to what truly matters

dear doris, i’m just over two years into this parenting caper. how do you and your paint guy balance your creative careers (plus all your other hats and projects) with parent life? wondering in terms of practical things (daycare etc) and also mental/physical things (finding the energy/brain space for creativity and keeping a cute home).

love nat, goonengerry, australia

dear nat,

we are nearly 10 years into this parenting caper and i can’t say myself and paint guy have it all sorted. the snuggle juggle is constantly evolving. for instance, its currently school holidays here in western australia and paint guy has become full time dad this week while i lean into passion/purpose driven work — which includes this newsletter.

we’ve been swaying back and forth between the main care-bear-giver and spelt breadwinner since our firstborn kawa came into our lives. it’s a constant hop-step-shuffle where we are often interpreting the dance however the regular bass note is prioritising family.

for our family — time together is everything. with one parent maxin’ & relaxin’ (& collapsin’) with the little humans while the other holds the income fort. other times we slide into more of a share care balance with two part-time polka performers spinning plates.

after kawa passed, it made it all the more clear that time with your children is precariously precious. while i was aware of this before she became an angel, it made us pivot acutely more into creating a work life family balance that maximised this experience together on earth.

we live simply on one combined income, say no to jobs that take us away from home and spend as much time together as humanly possible while the small folk still happily want to hang ten with us.

i had a sweet ol’ grandmother approach me when i first gave birth to kawa and she said “they are only small for so long. it will feel like an eternity right now but it will soon pass”. kawa never had the chance to grow up beyond 4 years and i am grateful i spent that era-of-eternity with her — where minutes and miles mushed together like a surrealist melting clock — irrelevant and intoxicating.

we don’t really socialise and i don’t drink alcohol — which cuts out the majority of grown up engagements. aside from my flea market tendencies and the odd event to support a friend, i shy away from participation. forgoing time spent with others maximises mum brain space and opportunity to keep a cute home with room to try on tall or wide brim hats.

we rarely go out — which involves a constant practice in the art of saying no — another unexpected lesson from our angel kawa. after her passing, we gave each other permission to decline — at any point or party. we agreed that time is fleeting and valuable commodity to be used wisely and with intention.

when we are not caring for our children, we are working on our paid or passion/ purpose work. our lives are focused on optimising time and retaining energy to flow into creative and heart driven pursuits.

i meditate almost daily. this is essential with balancing the yin and yang of life, the beauty & the bolognaise thrown at us. we all carry hand-held emotional baggage or have a bugbear clinging to our backsides. grief is another child of mine that i must nurse and accommodate.

meditation gives space to the e-motions of grief to pass through my body so when i approach work — its with more clarity and free of emotional congestion. its not strange for me to be crying and howling sitting cross-legged and then be pottering around happily making cute around studio shortly after.

in a recent meditation i heard these words shouted from my higher self — and perhaps it’s a message to all us juggling folks — “don’t f**k around” in caps.

“DON’T F**K AROUND. FOCUS”

“outsource things you can’t do. activate and automatize. you are worthy, you are of worth. you have value on earth. you bring value to earth. the worth you see in your children’s eyes is the worth you embody on earth. see the value & worth in their eyes”.

i have been observing friends with teenagers and also my niece and nephew — who don’t want a snickers bar of their parents — the worth in their eyes has transformed into a chiko roll of the eyeball. soon enough it seems — they grow up and the rare commodity of time expands and you will have plenty of room to overstretch and linger on the balance beam.

while i am looking forward to this potentially productive era indulging in various high hats — being right here teetering off-balance with a dad cap basking in worthiness seems to be truly where it’s at.

thank you nat — for the honour of answering your question.

big love. d x x

cliff notes on maximising creative capers while juggling & snuggling children :: remove external distractions & inhibitors & shift attention to what truly matters to you internally — your family, loved ones, your creative expression & higher purpose.

ask dear doris a question. any question at all — if you feel the answers laze or bathe here. please leave your [first name] [town/city] [country] or privately email dee@kawaheartstudio.com

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