why would you marry an artist?

11 lessons learnt in 11 years married to an artist

Jun 29, 2024

∙ Paid

slivin’ with artists. words & pictures by dee kawai tang

why in buddhas name would you marry a povo* artist? love (my asian) dad

dearest dads of the world,

i had another newsletter scheduled in for this week but this one just nudged its way through and into existence. perhaps, cos’ it’s my 11th wedding anniversary today — which has caused me to pause and reflect on what it’s been like being married to an artist and having a creative partnership and family together.

in part I i tune into my higher self doris to download what marriage means from a higher perspective. in part II i share 11 things i have learnt in 11 years shacked up with an artist.

part I.

the union of two souls in matrimony is very much like mixing two elements together, or two oils — a base note, with a high note or two bases or two high notes. the alchemy of combining the two can and does create a new energy or note or tone in itself. while the oils or pure fragrance can be intoxicating on its own, the mixing of the two can take on a double-edged sword effect. it can be twice as sharp or twice as sweet — depending on the make-up of the two parties.

a union can create a powerful elixir which is easy on the nose or one that keeps you on your toes— nobody knows until the alchemy begins and creates an odour or scent of its own. marriage is a funny caper that humans do love to indulge in for many reasons of sanctity or sanctimonious matrimonial ways.

however, just as much — humans love to break up or sever ties with one another, causing rifts to break — to divide and conquer the animal mating kingdom once more. there is no right or wrong doing in nuptials or non-ceremonial commitments, however a party sure is fun when the joy and laughter and exhilaration outweighs the stress and anxiety of organising such an event.

do as you do, say i do or i don’t, it’s always up to you.

nami o’ nami. painting by desmond sweeney. 2022.

part II

a few things to know before you shack up with an artist

the biggest lesson in a creative partnership is accepting that money will flow in and out with no real constant to it.

learning to adapt and to lean and taking turns to be the breadwinner is a reality.

when funds and work flow are low being frugal can force you to be more resourceful and you find a more hands-on approach to renovating and creating a cute home together.

living amongst the chaos and half finished projects can drive folks mad but there is also an art to accepting things exactly how they are in their imperfect state.